Dearest~  Kerwin
Did I hear you right'Cause I thought you saidLet's think it over
You have been my lifeAnd I never plannedGrowing old without you
Shadows bleeding through the lightWhere a love once shined so brightCame without a reason
Don't let go on us tonightLove's not always black and whiteWell, haven't I always loved you?
But when I need youYou're almost hereAnd I know that's not enough
But when I'm with youI'm close to tears'Cause you're only almost here
I would change the worldIf I had a chanceOh, won't you let me
Treat me like a childThrow your arms around mePlease protect me
Bruised and battered by your wordsDazed and shattered how it hurtsOh, haven't I always loved you
But when I need youYou're almost hereAnd I know that's not enough
And when I'm with youI'm close to tears'Cause you're only almost here
Bruised and battered by your wordsDazed and shattered now it hurtsHaven't I always loved you
But when I need youYou're almost here(Well, I never knew how far behind I'd left you)
And when I hold youYou're almost here(Well, I'm sorry that I took our love for granted)
And now I'm with youI'm close to tears'Cause I know I'm almost hereOnly almost here

Wonder whats going on ? perhaps,most prolly he's leading his life per normal , asking me to do the same but sorry i cant.! where do i stand ??? we have problems that i wanna fix it but he never wanted to talk to me and fix it tgt as a whole ~ am i supposed to watch you leave,give us up or just  wait for directions :'( trust was part of the big issue but i can tell  him i trust him if ......and it really got better after that BIG fight! sigh ~ i know he sort of got reunited with the clique he missed most i guess...!!! trying my best to know him better and all ...i never wanted to spent a moment apart....some may say give me up because i'm this and that ...everyone wants to lead a simple life without dramas without too much quarrels .! we barely tried officially , i know we can do it if we try...but he's tired of trying,he probably felt better with his friends now ~ i'm so afraid this period of time he wld fall for someone else or sth ...no text no nth....i dont wanna pressurized him either....we used to comfort each other before getting "tgt" and now i feel useless not being able to do so anymore...and i wished he cld comfort me too liked before...those days!!~ i want to be the one who change ur life,make u smile and make your life better . i want you to tell me "you;ve changed my life ard " ~ but i guess now i'm doing the total opposite!?!? we once said , ( i might be a good friend but not a good lover ) i wanna prove that wrong now by saying i can be your good friend and lover. Its easier said than done.But i believe  if we talk it out seriously,face to face, we will find a solution to US ~


i wanna be a better person for you , for the uknown future ahead of us. I got ignored,pushed away by you each time i try come closer to you now, it hurts so much . So much i  missed being in ur arms agn , hearing you say that you love me .All that has stopped every since few weeks back ? All i want is a simple life with you , feel special thats all . Of course we need to have our own space with our friends and all but sometimes i wonder why you dont call me along anymore ? is there sth wrong with me ???


I've done my best ,i tried everything to save us but now it lies with him. Everyday my heart beats so fast,feeling the anxiety of the answer i've been waiting for ~i live in fear not wanting you to know my weakness , not wanting to know i'm always here for u so that u wldnt take advantage of that. but its killing me inside.....good and bad times we braved tgt , now .........whats the ending?


i really wanna know how u feel about me honestly now ,
i was tired too , i had the thought of giving us up but i didnt want to .


holding on ,waiting for you to tell me ......to leave or to stay :'(.