Trust,Faith...

I do not know when will you ever drop by this place and chance upon this post but this is the only place where i felt that i cld open up to ~ Actually i wished i cld tell u how i felt all these  in person but each time i tried to , i failed ! (maybe only when there's alcohol in me ) 


I know you have no problems trusting me etc...you dont feel anything when i talk to my guy friends or go out with them from what u told me . But after that night at zouk i guessed i ruined it....yeah i know i cant drink and yet  i  still  drink like FREEEEE !!! end up dancing with guys even with you ard..!! Honestly i hate dancing with guys unless i have feelings for them but all these becomes bullshit once i cant control myself ~if i were u i wld feel the same ...even though i apologized and all i still feel guilty...~ it disappointing to see you smoke agn ...i know its common and all but since u decided to quit why smoke agn :( i know its partly because of me...but your health is sth you should treasure too ~ but i was glad i saw u that night...and after what Cheryl talked to me bout everything i realised yes u do love me a lot ~ I'm sorry ~


I know too much of insecurities wld ruin everything right now ~ but tell me how not to :( i tried.....but its so damn difficult.....sometimes i feel alright sometimes its killing me inside !!! i kept telling myself its normal and all because i do the same to ~ rmb u once told me u wont fall for someone if u had a "gf" but maybe crushes or admire someone else....i'm so afraid this day wld come..... ~.....i dk when did i become so afraid of losing someone ...maybe i've lost it years back ~  i dont have confidence in myself etc after listening to all your past love stories...~though i cant rmb all& i cant rmb who were they~ i know you still talk to ur ex in twitter or text....i happen to glance at it once but i dk if its just that time or what but u said u hardly talk to her alrd...so ....~ yeah but i dk ah ~some of ur gfs i know its fine but some i just feel like - (i just wanna ignore you )!  its so tiring to feel insecure and all most of the time....but everything just fall backs into place  after u hold me tight and all ~ 


Sometimes i wished we remained as good friends....not saying we're bad as lovers....but its diff ~  If not that i 've not fallen for you , i wld just stop all these but now,  i wish we wld be tgt soon , i hope to make things work though i have lots to work on :')


Cherish every single moment with you , be it big or small ~


youre more important than you realised <3